Better But Older News

The Brighter the babe the better the boinking!

Now that's news that I enjoy unlike yesterday's non-existent G-spot. I certainly agree with science in this case as I have often argued that sex occurs in the brain. That's an awkward conversation to have with a lot of people who seem to think that it happens in the dick. The dick has nothing to do with brilliant sex I counter endlessly, but everything to do with what is happening between the ears; and for my more Zen and Tantric counterparts, what is not happening by way of distraction in the brain.

Yes, good news to go with good coffee and the amount of irony in the article just makes me smile with glee, not an easy feat first thing in the morning.

The article for those not wanting to follow links:
Bright women are brilliant in bed
But it's not just having brains that counts, it's knowing how to use them in your relationship.
By Judith Woods
Published: 7:00AM BST 13 May 2009

Women have protested it for years, but a (male) scientist has finally discovered that the most important erogenous zone on the female body is, indeed, the brain. Intelligence, not beauty, is the deciding factor when it comes to enjoying sex, which will come as a great relief to clever-but-oh-so-plain girls everywhere.

A study has revealed that women endowed with emotional intelligence have superior sex lives because of their skill at expressing themselves and empathising with their partner. Researchers at King's College London asked 2,000 female twins about their sex lives and concluded that brains are the key to bliss in the boudoir.

Bright women apparently have twice as many orgasms as their peers, which of course makes perfect sense; the ability to bark, "No, for heaven's sake, not like that! There, over there!" in four languages is pretty much a guarantee of great sex on an international scale.

Moreover, for high-flying career types who spend their days immersed in acquisitions and mergers, or sweating over shareholders' reactions to worse-than-expected first-half losses, the strategic line management of a mere husband come lights out is a walk in the park.

High levels of emotional intelligence also makes it easier for women to fantasise during foreplay. So what if we're secretly running our imaginary hands over the craggy nooks of Jeremy Paxman, Simon Schama or Richard Dawkins? There's no harm done, as long as we don't actually close our eyes and, instead of moaning, "Oh God, oh God…" at a particularly inopportune moment of congress, start asking ourselves: "But what if there is no God?"

On a personal note, my IQ was measured by the nuns when I was nine; it's supposed to remain constant throughout your life, but given that three decades on, I can now gaze at a watering can for several minutes and still be unable to put a name to it, I wouldn't want to put that theory to the test.

Anyway, I apparently have (or at least once had) an IQ of 148, which allegedly places me above Nicole Kidman (132), Madonna (140) and Shakira (140) but below Carol Vorderman and Sharon Stone (both 154). While it's tremendously cheering to know I'm having better sex than hot Latina babe Shakira (yeah, right), it's not so good to think Carol Vorderman is soundly thrashing me in the whoopee stakes.

To paraphrase, the earth might move for the likes of me and Madonna, but clever clogs Carol is in a different league, with tectonic plates crashing and collisional boundaries climaxing in her lithosphere. And hey, what woman doesn't yearn to experience that at least once in her life?

Novelist Isabel Allende once famously declared that the G-spot is located in a woman's ears; words are the greatest aphrodisiac. Perhaps the reason why emotionally intelligent women have more fun is because they intuitively choose the best (or at least, most biddable) partners, who are imaginative, appreciative and can, at a push, chat a bit while in flagrante.

A woman with a soupçon of common sense can spare herself a lot of grief, boredom and misery by applying her intelligence to weeding out life's roués, rogues and rotters. Whether it's due to IQ or straightforward female intuition is a moot point, but Don't Sleep With Someone You Wouldn't Give A Job To is a fairly sound ground rule.

But I would aver that having a blast in bed has less to do with intelligence per se than confidence, of feeling loved, or at the very least, liked. And a shrewd woman, a woman with self-esteem, will only sleep with a chap who likes her. That ultimate sex symbol, Marilyn Monroe, who was ill-used more than once, poignantly observed: "I have never liked sex. I do not think I ever will. It seems just the opposite of love."

Beauty, you see, may get a man into bed. But brains will ensure you know what to do with him (and vice versa) when you get there.

Bad News Day

The G-spot, the continuously sought after magical spot of female orgasm, may not exist.

This is a terrible headline to be greeted with on a Monday morning. I am truly disappointed for myself and all other lusty broads who indulge their sexual proclivities and enjoy them heartily.

Next the scientific world will tell us that men have no P-spot.

Here's the bad news:

G-spot ‘may not exist’, say scientists
The G-spot, the erogenous zone that is said to be possessed by some women but not by others, may not exist at all, according to scientists.

By Ben Leach
Published: 8:00AM GMT 03 Jan 2010

Researchers at King’s College London claim there is no evidence for the existence of the G-spot – supposedly a cluster of internal nerve endings – beyond a woman’s imagination.

“Women may argue that having a G-spot is due to diet or exercise, but in fact it is virtually impossible to find real traits,” said Tim Spector, professor of genetic epidemiology, who coauthored the research.

“This is by far the biggest study ever carried out and it shows fairly conclusively that the idea of a G-spot is subjective.”

They reached their conclusions after a survey of more than 1,800 British women, all of whom were pairs of identical or non-identical twins.

Identical twins share all their genes, while non-identical pairs share 50 per cent of theirs. If one identical twin reported having a G-spot then her sister was more likely to give the same answer

But no such pattern emerged, suggesting the G-spot is a matter of the woman’s subjective opinion.

Andrea Burri, who led the research, said she was anxious to remove feelings of “inadequacy or underachievement” that might affect women who feared they lacked a G-spot.

“It is rather irresponsible to claim the existence of an entity that has never really been proven and pressurise women — and men, too,” she said.